Divorce Sucks. Lock and Key wants to Help!

You don’t hear a lot of Gay Divorce advocates. Or Open Divorce advocates (how would that work?). Or even Straight Divorce advocates. That’s because no matter your orientation, everyone agrees: divorce SUCKS. But it’s prevalent, isn’t it? Half of marriages end in divorce. It’s actually become a common staple of American culture.

Thus, Jon and Katy Goldstein created Lock & Key.

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The night began with a reading of statistics.

70% of prison inmates grew up in broken homes.

There is one divorce every 13 seconds. 

In a survey of divorce by religious affiliation, Baptist Christians held a 29% rate, the highest of any religion. Athiests/Agnostics held a 21% rate, the lowest of any religion.

That last one stunned a group of twenty-ish Christians. We’re supposed to be leading the world in love and loyalty, but apparently, we trail everybody. But the Goldsteins don’t want to just dissolve Christian divorce rates; they’re aiming bigger. Lock & Key’s mission statement is…

“Reversing the statistic and popular belief that marriage is temporary by showing its impact on others thus creating a movement of people proclaiming marriage as sacred, symbolic, and lasting.”

This mission comes from Ephesians 5:25-33, in which Paul describes a husband and wife like Christ and the church, a giving relationship that honors the other person more than selfish wants. Thus they become “one flesh.”

The name “Lock and Key” comes from the tattoos on Jon and Katy’s shoulders, a key and a keyhole, respectively. “The image is that of a lock which can only be opened by a single key, which can only open a single lock.” says Katy. Jonathan added, “The tattoos resemble permanence, which is what our marriages are supposed to be: permanent.”

Founders John and Katy Goldstein
Founders Jonathan and Katy Goldstein

However, the Goldsteins also know that reality is harsh and the marriage scene is not ideal today. “We are NOT condoning domestic abuse,” assures Jon. “If someone is being hurt, they need to get out.” They also know that divorce is already happening, and they can’t criticize the divorced or exclude them.   “[Lock & Key is] for everyone, and we need to fix the issue.”  The Goldsteins plan to cater to every group:

  • Teenagers. Helping them know that the choices they make now will affect their future.
  • Singles. Change perceptions of marriage from cynical/nonchalant to hopeful and steadfast.
  • The Engaged and Dating. Pre-marital counselling to give couples an honest eye into their future.
  • The Married. The honeymoon ends, but the love and devotion don’t have to.
  • The Divorced. There is healing, there is a chance to learn from mistakes, and there is hope for the future.

So how do Jon and Katy plan to defeat divorce?

COMMUNITY. “We believe that by creating a community of people committed to creating lifelong marriages, we can reverse the statistics. We can be the change. We believe that by sharing our testimonies and stories, we can impact lives and help save marriages…”

Wounds, lies, anger, and a host of other issues only fester in isolation. By accountability and encouragement, the Goldsteins hope to create a network of couples that push each other towards holiness and lasting joy.

Although it is a Christian-founded organization, Lock & Key would not exclude non-Christians. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling somebody, ‘No, you have to be a Christian first.’ Marriages need help now,” said Katy. The Goldsteins believe in evangelism by modeling, not preaching, to be an example of a strong marriage, instead of spouting verses and theories.

IT’S A LONG ROAD AHEAD.

Eventually, the Goldsteins want to have outreaches, to create accountability and mentoring programs for all age groups and marital statues, to hold seminars about covenant marriage, to travel and speak, and to grow into a fully-functioning non-profit agency with a paid staff. Their ultimate goal? To see the number of divorces reduced, and American views of marriage changed for the better. “Way long term, but hey, dream big!” say the Golsteins.

Isn’t this worth fighting for? Aren’t there enough broken families in the world? Aren’t there enough kids who go without a mommy or daddy? Aren’t there enough men and women who have given up on love?

Haven’t we had enough?

But Jon and Katy are just two people. They can’t make this happen on their own. They’re going to need an army of men and women committed to their marriages, committed to laying down their selfish desires and giving themselves to their spouses. They’re going to need help.

They’re going to need YOU.

RIGHT NOW, THERE ARE THREE WAYS TO HELP!

1. SPREAD THE WORD! It’s free and every click helps! Here are the ways you can promote Lock & Key.

2. DONATE EVEN A LITTLE! Every dollar helps them reach their goal of $1,000. This will get them started as a 501c3 Nonprofit Organization. Once that happens, not only will they be on the map, but all future donations will be tax-deductible. Katy says this is their number one goal. “Right now, people are just donating. We want them to have the benefit of tax deductions, they can’t do that until we are an official non-profit.” If you want to donate, visit their website and click the “Donate” button.

3. VOLUNTEER. The Goldsteins need manpower to get off the ground. This is the hardest of the three because it involves serious commitment, meaning your time and your energy. But if God is stirring your heart, perhaps you need to get involved. If you live in the St. Louis area and feel God calling you to help out, contact the Goldsteins on their website.

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WHAT DOES IT MATTER? WHY SHOULD I HELP?

These aren’t just two young bucks with a silly dream asking for money to build their castle in the sky. As Jon and Katy laid out their plans to our little group, it became very clear that they had thought of everything.

This is a vision from God, a carefully-planned, divinely-driven, fervently-prayerful ministry set out to end one of the most destructive forces in America: divorce. It shatters families, puts people into poverty, and tarnishes the soul. What’s more, they are backed by powerful spiritual warriors who know that there is always more than what we see going on. Short version? They’ve thought this through and they are prepared.

And the Goldsteins aren’t trying to make stronger marriage laws or make divorce illegal; they’re not trying to put more rules on people. Rather, they want to show the world what good marriage is really like by living it out, and the more people who do that, the more who will see.

This is why I wrote this post. I believe in Lock & Key. I think their vision is Godly, I think their plan is wise, and I think their hearts are strong. I’ve already made a donation and I’m spreading the word here. Maybe the dream is far-fetched, but the best dreams are.

So the Goldsteins and I both ask you…How can YOU help Lock & Key grow to achieve its mission?

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