If you ever want a laugh, look at all the Google searches people put in to find your blog. Most of them will make sense, of course, but look at the rare ones and you’ll see some epic randomness or some serious misinterpretation. I’ve reached 200 blogs here on Fencing With Ink, so I decided to look back at all the Google Searches I’ve ever had directed my way and share some of the most interesting with you. Shoutout to idiotprufs for the idea.
“Super Happy Franchise.wordpress.com” –What the what?! What the heck does that even mean? And that’s a url. That’s not my blog at all. And you know the weirdest part? SIX people found me this way!
“Pictures of puppets turned into an ass in the movie Pinocchio”–That is awfully specific. And I hope they mean donkey. 4 people found me this way? Really?
“Starbucks subliminal messages.”–Shhh! Don’t tell anybody!
“Isn’t fences free”–Uh, no, they isn’t.
“Great adult themed anime with characters that don’t suck.” –We’re all looking for those, my friend. I actually found five.
“Young cannot pass Gandalf”–Age-ism runs rampant in Middle Earth.
“Aladdin Guard Boxers”–Whaaaaaaaat???
“Images of Jael in the Bible”–Dude, there aren’t ANY pictures in the Bible. Pervert.
“Shouldn’t this anime”–…that’s it. That’s the whole keyword. And they found me twice.
“Scissor Lift Scary”–Yes. Yes it is. I’ve done it.
“Homemade obstacle course.”–I honestly don’t know what they found on my site that has anything to do with this phrase.
“I Suck at Saxophone”–If you’re looking for company, sorry. I was awesome at saxophone.
“Roommates Using My Soap”–Ew.
“No no no no no no no yes no no”–Seven nos, a yes, and two more nos. Is this morse code or how many dentists recommend soda for whiter teeth? Check out the blog they found.
“Lost Connect with Crack Shield.”–That doesn’t sound like a very sturdy shield material.
“I am too educated, help.”–Don’t worry, friend, the internet is here to set you straight!
And a wealth of porn searches. Look, I’ve talked about my fights with pornography on this site, but that doesn’t mean I have pictures! And if you write about Disney, you’re going to get people who find you while looking up Disney porn. Little Mermaid, Mulan, even Bambi. Really? Probably the funniest of these has to do with Peter Pan spanking Tinkerbell because, believe it or not, I actually talked about that in a blog post.
But the strangest (albeit most logical) of them all was “fencing porn.” Three times, someone used that and found me. Look, I’ve been in the depths of pornography and seen a lot of weird, sick fetishes, but congratulations, you found something I’ve never
searched heard of.
Fencing porn. Really? Is there a high demand for that? Are there risque fencing outfits? Are there fencers who become famous, then take naked pictures? I’m not saying fencers are unattractive or anything (although it’s hard to tell with 100% of their body covered), but it’s just such and obscure fetish. To each his own, I guess.
Thanks all you weirdos for helping me make 200 blog posts.