It was some bad chicken. I’m talking born-in-the-ghetto, hustled-his-grandma, pimped-out-his-sister, three-time-regional-Meth-King bad. Spider-Man 3 bad. And Dan and I both ate some because when you live in a college dorm, your options are A) Cafeteria food or B) Hunger. Hunger was the better choice.
Our dorm was 5 minutes from the dining hall. It was too far. We hurried into the bathrooms at the cafeteria, a surprisingly small joint, and took two open stalls next to each other. Now, most of you will know what I mean when I say that it “felt noisy.” A swirling whirlpool of violence and salmonella threatening war on your intestines just before something inside you sounds the evacuation alarm.
“Dan,” I said, “I’m sorry about this, but…this isn’t going to be pretty.” Dan replied, “Yeah, me too.” And we let…it…RIP. Yes, it WAS disgusting. And loud. If you’ve seen the Battlesh**s scene from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, then you’ll know what happened. When it was over, Dan and I just laughed, and laughed hard.
MAN, I wish the church was like this!
Just the other day, I was at a Bible study and I felt that swirling mass of hate inside of me and I thought, I can’t do it right now, it’s too quiet! But then I wondered, why am I ashamed of myself at a Bible study? Isn’t this where acceptance should be? Isn’t this something everybody goes through from time to time? Why do we have to have a code of silence? Why can’t we just let it rip?
Why did we make this “quiet and proper” rule in Christian circles of all places? We’re supposed to be the places of acceptance, where people can just dump their crap. Yeah, I know it’s unpleasant, but that’s Christianity! It’s messy, it’s unattractive, and frankly, hard to clean up. So hard that only Jesus can really do it right.
Why don’t we let others have relief? Because we all know that when that nasty stuff is out of us, it seriously feels good. No more swirling and gurgling inside, no more pain and self-hatred (why did I eat/do that?!). Just clean, sweet emptiness. But no, we tell people not to do it in public because everyone gets all awkward. Why? We all experience the same thing from time to time, and getting it out isn’t always “proper.” So why should we put such strict demands on those who are really, really sick?
Now, I’m not saying you just dump anywhere. There’s still a time/place/proper receptacle (don’t drop a twosie in a backed-up toilet). But Christian circles should BE that place. Churches, bible studies, special gatherings, anywhere two or more are gathered in Jesus’s name. We shouldn’t be shaming people when getting the bad out of them is unpleasant, messy, or stinks up the whole place. We should embrace them and say, “Now doesn’t that feel better?”
So the next time your friend or neighbor comes over with a whole lot of unpleasantness swirling around in his innermost parts, invite him into your bathroom and tell him not to concern himself with being quiet or “proper,” but to do whatever it takes to get the bad out. Tell him to let…it…RIP!
Let it rip, everyone!
3 thoughts on “Let It Rip! A True Story About Jesus and Diarrhea”
This was great, funny and true!
I get it, and I agree totally! I was thinking this a little bit but it never took a foothold in my head (can’t take credit), I just thought it was possible and should actually be done; loved the point you’ve made and it needs to happen in our church circles it could really save some lives!
Amen to that. As I’m learning, the Lord keeps telling me, “You see that thing your soul so desperately craves? Now give it to someone else who needs the same thing.”