What’s the best part of any Disney movie? The villain song, of course! “Be Prepared,” “Poor, Unfortunate Soul,” “Kill the Beast,” “Friends on the Other Side,” “Hellfire,” whatever, those songs are freaking awesome.

But what if you ran into a Disney villain song in real life? I’ve run into five songs that could easily fit into an animated musical. They’re good songs and I think you’ll get a laugh. Enjoy!

Click the titles to hear the songs on Youtube!

5–Growth Over All (Wachstum Uber Alles) by Saltatio Mortis f. Omnia

NOTE: Sadly, I can’t find the whole song on Youtube, so when you click the link, then click the second link on the video, which says “Feat. Omnia” to hear a clip. 

Originally, this was a German song, but one version added the band Omnia and they sung the song in English, as well as giving it a slower, darker tone, as opposed to the angry rock sound, pianos replacing electric guitars.

The song is about worshiping profit. “Profit, Profit, uber alles [over all], uber alles in this world, so come let us strive together til the final bank note burns. Vanity and greed and ego, that is what sustains us all, profit, profit uber alles, uber alles in this world.” The slow tones and multi-part harmony really makes it sound like a cult chant.

This one’s low on the list because the verses condemn this behavior more than worship it, but the chorus captures the reverent tone of a people who want to gain money even at the cost of human life. It’s eerie and a dark light on the reality of greed and materialism.

Type of Villain: Greedy (Clayton, Commander Rourke)

Most Villainous Lyric: Grow, Profit, grow like cancer, grow my darling bank account.

4. Whatever Lola Wants by Sarah Vaughan

On first glance, this doesn’t seem like a villain song. The tone is low, but not dark, and the lyrics are proud, but unassuming. It’s about a woman named Lola bragging to some unnamed man about how she’s too irresistible for him to stay away. “Whatever Lola wants Lola gets, and little man, Little Lola wants you…you’re no exception to the rule, I’m irresistible, you fool. Give in.”

Maybe it’s that word “fool” or the prideful nature of the song, or how the guy could legitimately be locked up in chains during the whole song, but I picture a reversal of roles in this Disney villain. Here’s the evil queen who’s captured the handsome prince and wants to marry him. She locks him in a tower and sings this song about how she’ll have his “heart and soul” when all is said and done.

Type of Villain: Arrogant, perhaps Seductive Queen Bee (Maleficent, Ursula, maybe even Mother Grothel)

Most Villainous Lyric: Make up your mind to have no regrets. Recline yourself, resign yourself, you’re through.

3. Evil (Das Bose) by E Nomine

Yes, another German song, but darn it those guys can sound wicked! Such a harsh and beautiful language at the same time.

Anywho, this song is literally about something evil talking about how evil it is. “I am sinister, hideous, vulgar, and nasty. I place myself deep inside your soul…I am the evil that frees you from the good. I am so evil, the roaring inside your head. Am I evil? (laughter) I am THE evil!”

This is a seriously wicked song. The music itself is bombastic with heavy brass and percussion with later strong, singular piano strikes and even big bells. And of course the guy’s voice is gritty and horrifying with inhuman roars and growls. The whole thing has the tone of some ancient evil that’s awakened.

Type of Villain: An inhuman monster, pure evil (Chernabog from Fantasia, perhaps Malificent’s Dragon)

Most Villainous Lyric: I enjoy torturing you til you bleed and you scream, because I am your torturer, the worst of them all.

2. Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold

The content of this song is by no means fit for children. It’s about a man who loved a woman, but feared that love would end. So he killed her. And had sex with her dead body. Regularly. Then the woman’s spirit came back and rose from the dead and killed him back. The man’s spirit came back, too, and he apologized, then they both got married and lived undead ever after. Ew.

But it’s really the music that makes it sound like it’s in a musical. The bouncy orchestra could have been done by Danny Elfman and I would not be surprised. Yeah, it sounds like Tim Burton’s kind of dark and weird. More than that, it’s a long song, about 10 minutes, and it tells an entire story from beginning to end. It could possibly be the intro to a villainous couple, like the flashback that explains how they got this way.

Dastardly lyrics with a jubilantly dark sound. It’s a lot of fun, but I eventually deleted it off my computer because I got tired of washing my brain out with soap.

Type of Villain: Totally twisted/obsessive type (…I dunno, Frollo? Gaston?)

Most Villainous Lyric: I know it’s not your time…but bye-bye.

1. When You’re Evil by Voltaire

This song is tailor-made for a Disney movie. Some random dude is just bragging about how delightfully wicked he is. He’s a bad guy and he totally enjoys it. “And it’s so easy when you’re evil. This is the life, you see, the Devil tips his hat to me. I do it all because I’m evil, and I do it all for free. Your tears are all the company I need.”

The song begins with a long violin solo that sounds perfect for a villainous sort, then breaks out some deeper bases, drums, and what sounds like a tambourine. Another dark song, but also a hint of fun, perfect for Disney. And the guy’s lyrics really aren’t horribly dark, almost more of a jerk or a bully than a monster (for a while, at least). “I’m the fly in your soup, I’m the pebble in your shoe, I’m the pea beneath your bed, I’m the bump on every head. I’m the peel on which you slip, I’m the pin in every hip, I’m the thorn in your side, makes you wriggle and writhe.”

If that doesn’t sound like a Disney villain, I don’t know what does.

Type of Villain: Someone who’s evil and loves it (Maleficent, Jafar, Ursula, Shadow Man, Scar, Hades, Madame Mimm, Cruella).

Most Villainous Lyric: It gets so lonely being evil. What I’d do to see a smile, even for a little while. And no one loves you when you’re evil…I’m lying through my teeth! Your tears are all the company I need.

What did I miss? I’m sure there are more villainous songs out there. What would you suggest? Be sure to include the type of Disney baddie who could sing it!