So it’s Halloween and you have no costume. Your home, workplace, or whatever is filled with monsters, skanks, and obscure references you don’t get. Whether you forgot a costume, couldn’t afford one, or just didn’t care, here are ten surefire answers for that idiot who looks at your jeans and polo and asks, “What are you supposed to be?”

1. “I’m Harry Potter wearing an invisibility cloak. What, you don’t see it?”
2. “I’ve disguised myself as the man/woman of your dreams. Hello at last.”
3. “I’m dressed as [insert obscure or made-up reference here]. You’ve probably never heard of it.”
4. “I’m pretending to be someone so offended by the idea of Halloween that I’m wearing normal clothes out of protest.”
5. “I’m an undercover CIA agent. Aw, crap, now I have to kill you.”
6. “My costume is very complicated [then just start making things up and don’t stop until they leave].”
7. “My real costume is under the clothes.” *wink*
8. “I’m a zombie who came back to life, put on some makeup, and came to this specific location to hang out with you people.” (Say it with absolute deadpan)
9. “I’m Satan. Contrary to popular belief, this is actually my day off.”
10. “I’m you.”

Got any others? Put ’em in the comments!

Happy Halloween, everybody.