Top Five Hell Scares–#4, A Dog’s Death

Despite the cutesy title, not all dogs go to Heaven. The bastard Dalmatian that chased me on my bike is an example. Or those Rottweilers that used to scare me. Or that massive Weimeraner that–

Ahem, but we’re talking about the Don Bluth movie.

all dogs go to heaven

If you can’t see the picture, the quote at the bottom says, “Highly recommended for whole family viewing.” Well, that person was either paid by Mr. Bluth or had his psyche so badly scarred by a certain scene in this film that he forgot it even existed.

Yes, I’m talking about the Hell Dream. A perfect candidate for this list of Hell Scares.

So Charlie is a dog who was murdered by another dog via driving a car down a ramp, straight into his face.

Have I mentioned that nearly every Hell Scare on this list was labelled okay for kids?

But this isn’t where we get our visions of Hell. Quite the opposite, Charlie goes to Heaven. Unfortunately, Heaven is too boring for the earthly dog, so he forces his way back to life with a warning echoing as he descends: “You can never come back.”

This leads to some prime dream material.

Charlie imagines once more floating through the afterlife, but instead of being met with beauty and light, he gets lightning, fire, and tornadoes. He tries to escape, but is pulled into the abyss, where a demon boat carries him through the lava.

And just in case you weren’t sure this was hell, there’s a Satan dog, and it’s not as cute as it sounds.

all dogs 2
Who’s a good boy? NOT YOU, SINNER!

The Hell Hound spits out tiny demon dogs that try to eat Charlie alive as his boat sinks into the lake of fire. Though Charlie fights and tries to climb up the doomed boat, a distorted voiceover spills out what we already know:

“You can never go back.”

You know…the PG rating really used to mean something. It’s a short scene, but one that terrorized a generation of children.

Oh, and you know what’s worse? There was an extended version of this scene where the Devil says to the camera, “Now you’re mine.”

all dogs 3

So, uh, yeah, don’t gamble, kids.

Next Week: Disney’s Darkest Hour

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