The brave friend – who you need when life gets hard

A little something on Godly friendship that I found today. Christ called us to love, not correct. If someone needs correction, they need Jesus, not you.

just a jesus follower

BRAVE FRIENDI’m taking a deep breath and am going to be real with you. This is a hard topic for me.

Over the course of a failed marriage, church falling outs, parenting issues, career changes and a whole gamut of unexpected life obstacles, I’ve tasted the joy and healing of healthy friendships – I’ve equally swallowed the searing sting of  painful ones.

This blog comes from both a painful and joyful place.

But before I offer you words of wisdom in the friendship department, let me set the stage for my perspective.

I am a former pastor. I’ve listened to countless stories of people’s hurts in this area. I’ve written a book on forgiveness.

I’ve been through divorce. I’ve been kicked out of a church. I’ve experienced abuse. I’ve been gossiped about, betrayed – I’ve been judged, outcasted, un-friended, etc. simply because I took a stand for what I believed…

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Book Review: Ferryman by Michael Blaylock

Here’s what someone is saying about Ferryman. Thanks S.M. Tsonis for the review. She does other book reviews, too, plus some more stuff, so check her site out.

S.M. Tsonis

IMG_7391Title:  Ferryman

Author: Michael Blaylock

Genre: Superhero Fiction

Story: Dark, bold, adult-ish. Charlie Ferris is capable of taking life with a single touch. In this world, they live side by side with Olympus and all of the Greek mythological beings, who do not condone this power, including making a living from it. But when evil, underworld creatures threaten to destroy both Olympus, and the mainstream world, they must work together to destroy the “tarlings” and their creator.

What Worked: “I am on my way to kill a man, but I am not murdering him.” That is the first line of the book. BOOM! It stuck with me the entire novella. The book is short and he makes every sentence count. Very impactful. The book is a perfectly blended creation of Mythology (Greek) and Traditional Superhero.

There’s always a love story, right? As a lover of love and all things…

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The Gaslighting of the Millennial Generation

Some excellent thoughts on the millennial generation.

Born Again Minimalist

I was in graduate school when I first heard the term “millennial.” It was at a conference. The session was about how to serve millennial students, because they have different characteristics than the Generation X students that went before them. It was here that I first started hearing things like “millennials need to be recognized for participation,” “millennials feel they are special,” “millennials are sheltered,” “millennials are likely to have helicopter parents,” and more. Society as a whole loves to hate on the millennial generation (those born between 1980-1999), calling us “special snowflakes” and sarcastically referring to us as “social justice warriors,” calling us out for “being offended by everything” and, everybody’s favorite, pointing out how very entitled we are.

Here’s the secret: We’re not.

millennial late for work.jpg

The negative opinions directed at millennials are a perfect example, on an enormous societal scale, of cultural gaslighting.

What’s Gaslighting?

Glad you asked. I learned…

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8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Gamer Girl

This is something I wrote for Pop Culture Uncovered about sexist gaming culture. Even as a man, it’s disgusting and I think this is an important topic as video games become more and more advanced and popular.

Pop Culture Uncovered

I admit up front that I don’t actually have a teenage daughter. However, I want to, and she and countless other girls will grow up in a culture of video games. So when I heard that a woman was sexually assaulted in a virtual reality game, I knew this world wasn’t ready for my daughter or anybody else’s.
So here are eight steps to making the virtual world safer and friendlier towards our sisters.

1. Just because you’re laughing doesn’t mean she is.
To you, it’s a joke. To her, it may be frightening or just plain repulsive. It’s good to laugh, but it’s far better, more respectable, and a greater measure of your own wit when everyone is laughing, not just you.

2. Talk to her like she’s really there.
Would you make that rape joke to her face? Would you use her in a sexually explicit sentence…

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Book Review: “Ghost Box” or “This is Why I Don’t Go to Los Angeles”

I saw this number as part of a cover artist's display at Realm Makers 2015 and I'd been meaning to read it since then (proving the power of good cover art). I finally snagged a copy and sat down to enjoy it. And yes, enjoy is the operative word. Not love, not revel in, but … Continue reading Book Review: “Ghost Box” or “This is Why I Don’t Go to Los Angeles”

An Example of How Humility Hurts Like Hell (but Feels So Good)

Ow...Ow...Ow...You'll have to excuse my metaphorical limping, but I was just crucified this morning. See, I wrote this article on video games, talking about how choice-based games (where you choose the outcome at various points) are boring and gimmicky if that's all they are. Never, ever, EVER say anything on the internet unless you're willing … Continue reading An Example of How Humility Hurts Like Hell (but Feels So Good)